Gripping Fear
Posted by Jana Groscost Matthews | Filed under Jana Matthews, Manifesting, Self Healing, Transformation, Transmutation
The swimming pool was a welcome relief from the sweltering summer heat. After a long day at work, my dad and I cooled ourselves in the neighborhood pool. We swam here several times a week, but tonight was different, my dad encouraged me to jump off the high dive. I looked at him in terror.
Over the summer I had mastered jumping and finally diving off the lower board, but this new request was scary! The high dive was SO high. From the pool, the platform looked like it was a million miles away. I could see other kids climbing the ladder to the platform and wanted to join them. But there was that little voice in my head telling me, “It’s too high, it’s too scary, this isn’t safe, you’ve never done something like this before!”
Finally with a lot of coaxing from my dad I reluctantly climbed the ladder. I made it to the platform and froze. The ground was so far away. The platform was moving from the wind and rebounding from other people jumping. My heart raced. Paralyzed with fear, I stood there as my white knuckles gripped the handrail. The kids behind me were encouraging me to go, but I couldn’t move. Trying to find the courage to jump, I let a couple of kids go in front of me. There wasn’t any reason I should do this. It’s scary and I don’t like feeling this way. Finally as tears welled up in my eyes I felt defeated. Fear won. I climbed back down the ladder.
Ah, good, back on solid ground. I’ll just swim for a while and forget I ever tried that. My dad was relentless. Like many parents he used guilt and shame to get me to do something. “Look at those kids up there, they’re doing it, you can too!” I kept resisting. Next came the bribe, I’d get a candy bar if I successfully jumped. Hummm… the pot got sweeter! Mustering up the courage, I climbed the ladder again. Legs shaking, heart racing, knuckles still white, I gripped the handrail and inched toward the end of the board. I stopped in fear. The handrail didn’t extend to the edge of the board. At some point I had to let go of it and walk out onto a bouncy board. My heart wanted to do this, but my hands wouldn’t let go. I edged back to the ladder and safety.
It was getting late and dinner was waiting. Oh good, it’s over, I’m safe!
A couple of days later we were back at the pool and back to my source of fear. But this time my dad encouraged both my younger brother and me to jump. Richard didn’t even hesitate. He climbed the ladder and walked off the end of the board. Rats! He did it! Even though he didn’t say anything, he taunted me with his actions. Wait, didn’t he think about how scary the jump would be? Didn’t he think he might hit the bottom of the pool? Didn’t he think he might die because he was underwater a long time? Pressure mounted for me to be next.
I took a deep breath, saying to myself, “You can do this, Richard just did it! Are you going to let him show you up?” There’s nothing like a little competition to motivate me. I reached the platform. I walked to the end of the handrail. I’ve been here before, but it was going beyond this point that scared me. With my heart racing, I still had to make the trek to the end of the board without the support of the handrail. My shaking legs began bouncing the board. With each step I wanted to retreat to the safety of the ladder, but I kept telling myself, “I’ve got to do this!”
When I reached the end of the board I heard the faint echo’s of my dad and brother’s voice, “Jump.” I’m not sure what happened next. Did I jump? Did I fall? Splash, I hit the water. A moment of terror engulfed me as I swam to the surface. Stunned and shocked I swam towards to side of the pool. Richard and my dad were screaming with excitement. I did it! I jumped off the high dive and survived!
I probably jumped off the high dive another twenty times that day. A few days later I began diving off it, and finally diving off and swimming underwater to the other end of the Junior Olympic sized pool. Even though I didn’t realize it at the time I faced some very big fears that day; fear of the unknown, fear of death, and fear of my little brother beating me!
Remembering moments like this and drawing from them has helped me face other circumstances in my life where fears cropped up. Fears are a defense mechanism set up by the ego. It’s the voice inside saying, “This is different, what will happen if I try it? What if I fail? I don’t want to disappoint myself. I don’t want to disappoint others. I don’t want to feel ashamed for failing. I would be better off playing it safe!”
But living in safety of our past experiences doesn’t help us reach new goals.
Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results.”
The ego is the voice inside that wants to keep us safe. But the false perception of safety set up by the ego is based upon our past experiences – both successes and failures. The ego plays upon past failures, experiences, and perceived threats to preserve itself.
In a split second my fear of the unknown, death and falling was overshadowed by my younger brother doing something I was scared to do. I couldn’t let him do that! The voice in my head (the ego) was overpowered by my heart’s desire overcome my fears. Being a little kid at the time I didn’t know what fears were. But I know what they are now. I know how they paralyze my actions if I allow it.
Fear = Resistance
Resistance isn’t about the change it’s about fear of the “unknown.” The unknown is this black hole; we are blind to the possibilities because the ego’s first response is fear. What if I get hurt? What if I fail? What if I disappoint myself, again? What if I disappoint others?
Do you remember a time you when you feared trying something new? Were you able to overcome your fears? After you did it, did you ask yourself, “Why did I wait so long to try this?”
What fears are holding you back from getting what you want? Join us for the upcoming “Living an Empowered Life” 3-week teleseminar held Tuesdays, September 6, 13, 20, 2011 and learn how to overcome your fears so they no longer stop you.
Tags: change, emotional healing, emotional release, emotional wounding, failure, fear, goals, healing, jana matthews, manifest, Manifesting, self healing, success, Transformation, transmutation
Full Moon in Aquarius
Posted by Jana Groscost Matthews | Filed under Manifesting, Transformation
The full moon on Sunday, July 25, 2010 at 9:38pm EDT is a time for breakthrough moments. Prepare yourself for surprises and be ready to respond and adapt quickly to new situations.
Open your heart during this time and allow feelings to flow. Wash your heart free from old emotional wounds making room for expansion and growth. You may be surprised how your heart awakens when the old stuff is removed.
You are the director of your life, with the capacity to change the characters, scene, and outcome of your production. By letting go of the past and embracing your strength and ability, you have the power to create a masterpiece!
Open your heart to the magical possibilities that surround you at this time!
Tags: change, emotional wounding, full moon in aquarius, healing, heart, Manifesting
The Alchemy of Relationship (excerpt)
Posted by Jana Groscost Matthews | Filed under Manifesting
“Most of us will do almost anything to avoid psychological heat. When we get uncomfortable, many of us get the hell out of Dodge. Now for some of us this means literally packing up and getting out of town, or at least out of sight. For some of us it means that we are physically present, but no longer emotionally present. We numb up. We become automatons. We move and talk, almost like normal, but we have retreated far, far inside. Others of us numb ourselves with alcohol or drugs. And some of us do it with television. We humans are, after all, quite clever and creative. We can find all sorts of ways to avoid facing ourselves. In fact, they are far too numerous for me to list here. But I suspect you get the idea. I guess the real question here is this–what do you do when things get psychologically too hot for your taste? What do you do when you are on the verge of feeling something that you don’t want to feel?”
From The Alchemy of Relationship by Tom Kenyon
To read the entire article visit TomKenyon.com
Tags: addictions, alchemy of relationship, emotional wounding, emotions, healing, Manifesting, tom kenyon
Changes and Challenges
Posted by Jana Groscost Matthews | Filed under Manifesting, Transformation
Change isn’t an option, it’s necessary at this time. The crumbling old foundation is causing many to embrace fear. But the evolution in our energy is causing us to move out of a state of greed and survival and into a place of love. Our new foundation is based in the heart chakra instead of the lower three survival chakras. The push and pull you may be feeling is part of this transition helping you eliminate old survival skills and resolving emotional wounding.
Keep in mind that everyone that you’re in conflict with has contracted with you to help you grow and heal. Our Divine Intelligence gave us crutches to help us overcome our challenges in life. Unfortunately these crutches turned into addictions. It’s easy to get caught in the drama and support yourself through your addictions. Addictions come in many forms: drugs, alcohol, work, exercise, some people are even addicted to drama and create it constantly. These behaviors are rooted in survival instead of growth. They keep us tied to our stories and emotional wounding instead of healing them.
The cosmos is shaking all that up right now. The message is to “stop embracing addictions and emotional wounds, and heal yourself.” The more we resist change the more change is forced upon us. There are some simple steps you can do to manage change instead of feeling victimized by it.
1) Face drama: View drama in your life without attachment to emotions around it. Typically the first response is to emotionally lashing out, but take a step back and ask yourself “Why you are reacting this way?” As soon as you bring awareness to the situation instead of more drama to it you’ll begin to resolve and dissolve it.
2) Release Fear: When you feel the survival skills of the lower three chakras, recite affirmations to shift the energy away from fear and into love. For example, perhaps you are struggling financially. Instead of marinating in the fear and lack of your perceived financial distress say, “The Universe is my supply. I’m so grateful the Universe provides a continuous stream of prosperity and abundance (or whatever the lesson).” Find something you can be grateful related to that person or situation so you shift your vibration. Only you can choose to shift your lower vibrating emotions to higher ones.
3) Remove assumptions and expectations: By making assumptions or having expectations we actually limit possible outcomes. Making assumptions is a breakdown in communication because you assume everyone thinks the way you do. Making assumptions causes misunderstandings because the assumptions fill in the gaps of communication. Drama and sadness is based on our assumptions. Instead of making assumptions find the courage to ask questions until you feel clear about the situation. Find your voice!
An expectation is anticipation of a particular outcome. When we have expectations we may shut down or don’t see other possibilities because we are so focused on a specific result. When things don’t turn out the way we expect it creates frustration, anger, sadness, doubt, and disbelief.
4) Gratitude: Each day make a list of what you’re grateful for. The list includes both things from the past, present and intentions in progress. Expressing gratitude is a big way to shift your energy and vibration. Write out a daily list of gratitudes for a month and see how your life transitions. Make your statement in the form of an affirmation such as “IAM so grateful ….” Even if you don’t initially FEEL grateful for the lesson, situation, or person, writing down a statement of gratitude shifts your perceptions and emotions, so you resolve it.
Tags: addictions, challenges, change, emotional wounding, gratitude, injustices, Manifesting
To prepare for the manifesting, write down a list of goals or intentions you want to attract or issues you want to release during the lunar cycle. After the cycle is over, review your old list crossing off goals achieved and file it, then begin a new list for the new cycle. To maintain balance in your life, look at goals on several different levels including financial, spiritual, mental, emotional, and physically.